i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
