Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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