I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
