Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
