hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
