last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
