Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
