Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When are your genitals available?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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