garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I need to align my fucking chakras
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