Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
