Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
