Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
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