Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
