just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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