You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
