come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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