i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
