Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
nutella sex= disaster
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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