you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
