Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
