Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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