Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
