Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
