can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You made out with two different species that night
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
