im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
