i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
