what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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