I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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