Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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