check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
