quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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