Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
