Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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