Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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