Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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