am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
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he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
