so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
