Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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