the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Come share oat with me in your robe
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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