your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
