We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just pee around me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
