Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
