I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
