Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
