Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
