there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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