just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
