every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
