I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
