i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
